So a couple weeks back it had come to my indisputably superior attention that cars have quite the attitude problem. Whilst hovering ever so slowly over the icy scapes of the interstate late one night, a rogue automobile (or something that looked a lot like one) made its presence known within the nether regions of my car.
This was a very angry car, and although I was already practically creating my own roller coaster ride at a mere 85 miles per hour, this mechanized maniac was determined to one-up me. Can you say, rocket ship? Well I’ll be, I never thought I’d see one so close! Yet here it was, practically ripping my car’s back bumper a new one. Apparently the rear of my wrongfully adorable little car is also considered outer space by some; alternate universe to others.
I glanced behind to find a gentleman inside of said rocket ship sitting far against the wheel, perhaps trying to blast off himself through the windshield should the rocket fail to complete the change to hyperspeed.
Highbeams are such a wonderful thing, too, that they insist on shining them in my face. As if to say, "Hey outerspace! I’m looking for you! How many planets do you have?" Perhaps he was a dentist, and my car was a mouth with lots of cavities to find. I do not know for sure, I’ll have to get back to you on that one.
Assuming he made it safely into space and past the milky way, I will put this thought to rest on the bookshelf alongside my sanity.
Oh, yeah. One last thing. Ever been on the highway late at night, with no other vehicles around, only to discover at that final chilling moment, that a dragon is in your rear view mirror? Damn you, tractor trailers. Turning your lights on when its dark out, making me realize that dragons really didn’t die out, but rather went the way of the transformers and turned into cars, and are currently burning pavement en-route to conquer my pathetic little hatchback. Everything I’ve ever known is now obsolete. I hope you...ALL OF YOU will look twice, no...THREE times next time you encounter a tractor-dragon at night. You have been warned. Until again...again?
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